


Hollowness

by Spiritdrop



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Almost forgot the angst tag, Angst, Brotherly Love, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Just had to get that out there, Sans Needs A Hug, Self-Harm, THIS IS NOT FONTCEST, We all could have died because of that, anyway, someone tell me to go to bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiritdrop/pseuds/Spiritdrop
Summary: After all the resets leave Sans in emotionless peices, how else is he to feel again?Excerpt: Sans knew as he clutched the knife in his hand that he shouldn't be doing this... But that didn't stop him from pressing the knife into his bone. At first it was placed against his bone lightly, just making a small line. That's all it was, a small, teeny little line. At least it was, until he dug the knife all the way into his radius until it hit his marrow.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So. This is the shit you guys are going to get when I start writing at 2 AM and I'M SUPER DEPRESSED! Gj if you got that reference. You probably didn't XD
> 
>  
> 
> Also. I wrote this in like one hour... While half asleep so please don't hate me for the amount of errors and stuff. And probably cringe.

Sans knew as he clutched the knife in his hand that he shouldn't be doing this... But that didn't stop him from pressing the knife into his bone. At first it was placed against his bone lightly, just making a small line. That's all it was, a small, teeny little line. At least it was, until he dug the knife all the way into his radius until it hit his marrow. The red substance oozed out of the fresh cut and slid down his arm and he watched it move. He winced at the pain the cut brought him, and the way he felt decimal points of his HP dropping, but damn did it feel good too.

It felt good and horrible at the same time, but that didn't matter... He was feeling something. After years upon years of countless resets, Sans' emotions just decided to leave him and never come back... Heh. If he had the choice, he would do the same. Now all he was, was hollow. And when the hollowness became too much? He would pull out the knife.

After the one cut he had made stopped stinging as much and he felt his HP reach a steady decimal point, he picked up the knife again and dragged it across his arm.

He did it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

He stopped only when he felt like he couldn't lift the knife up anymore, he was so weak. He dropped the knife he was using on his bed somewhere near himself. His arm stung everywhere he had sliced it open with the serrated edge of his weapon and it was covered in marrow and dust. He felt like he might pass out because of the amount of pain and his drop of HP. Speaking of which...  
Sans checked himself quickly in his pained haze.

HP:  
.0001/1  
ATK:  
1  
DEF:  
1

Heh. He was so close... If he just were to slice his arm open one more time, he could never feel hollow again. _Until the next reset._

He could be free from the torture holding him captive. _But be placed back into the cage_.

He could finally be at peace. _Until the kid gets bored again._

Sans reached around on his bedcovers for the knife.

Sure, he was weak but he didn't want to live with being emotionless anymore. He didn't like the emptiness. He didn't want to live knowing everyone else is happy but he will never be. He won't ever feel anything but pain again. He'll be hollow.

As he found the knife he dropped previously he dragged his fingers along it.  
Would anyone miss him?

_Certainly not if he couldn't offer them happiness anymore._

What about Papyrus? What will he do when he finds his brothers dust?  
He'll get over it. Just give him some time.

What about Grillby? Toriel? Frisk? Undyne? Alphys? Asgore? Mettaton?  
They will all get over it.

Sans knew he was easy to forget. So it didn't matter if he disappeared. Why would it matter if he didn't matter?  
But what if... Someone did care?

Would someone really want a monster who has no emotions, can't take care of himself and hates everything about himself? Obviously not... But maybe?

Sans fingers traced along the sharp edge of the knife. They weren't pressing hard enough to make his HP drop but to prove to him the knife was sharp, and it could cut through him.

_Does anybody actually care?_

_Does anybody want me alive?_

_Why would they? I'm a failure._

Sans was too caught up in thought to notice the soft whimpering in his door. He only noticed it when a certain figure walked into the room with his eyes teary and glowing.

Papyrus...

The skeleton was originally planning to get a glass of water from the kitchen because he couldn't sleep and was dieing of thirst. But then he passed by Sans' door and his brotherly instinct just kicked in...  
Turns out it was right.

Sans saw who it was in the door...

_Oh, g o d._

"Br-brother... Put the knife down pl-please..." Sans flinched at the way Papyrus' voice was unusually quiet. He only heard Papyrus like this when he was scared out of his mind... Oh.

Sans placed the knife down.

Looks like someone does care....

But at the moment, Sans desperately wished no one did. And that his brother didn't have to see him, laid out on his bed clinging to the smallest fraction of life, bloody, and dusty. Next to the weapon he used to do this to himself too. He wished he could be anywhere but where he was now.

But no matter how much he wished, he was still here.

Papyrus' eyes were both glowing a bright orange and he hugged his brother, being careful not to hug him to tightly because he had no idea how much HP Sans had at the moment.

He whispered to his brother, "Sans it's okay. Things will get better. You don't have to do this." Even though Papyrus tried to keep his cool, sobs made their way from his mouth.

"Brother I'm g-going to ch-check you." Sans hadn't moved since he placed the knife down and proceeded to be unmoving as his brother checked his stats. He let out a gasp at how low Sans' HP had managed to get.

The taller skeletons voice was shaky when he started to speak, "S-Sans we n-need to heal you right now!" Even though Papyrus was no good at healing magic, a green glow emerged from his hands and he summoned Sans soul to heal him directly at the source.

He was feeding his magic into Sans when he heard a soft whimper that sounded like, "Why?"

Papyrus froze for a second, "Did you say something brother?"

Sans' response was hoarse but Papyrus could make out the words, "Why do you want me? Why are you healing me?" Sans' eyes were black pits, "Why won't you let me die?"

Papyrus didn't even have to this about his wording to answer Sans, "Why because you're my brother! I love you! I don't know where I would be without you!"

Sans muttered more to himself than to anyone else, "Happier."

He didn't plan on Papyrus hearing him, "Sans... Don't you dare even tell yourself that. I love you and you're amazing, I could never see myself living a happy life without you in it. Please... Don't leave me. I love you so so much..."

Sans just sat there and his eyelights slowly started to fade back in.

And for the first time in a really long time, he felt tears surfacing at the corners of his eyesockets. Sans clung to his brother with what little energy he had left and he cried into his shoulder. 

He felt. But it wasn't pain. It wasn't an empty feeling either. It was.... Love.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> God this took a lot out of me. Now it's time to sleep for like. 20 days.
> 
> This is like really short but I love it?? Like I'm not good at writing brothers so erm. That's why you won't see a lot of brother stuff from me but idk. I seriously need sleep. And to stop venting my feelings in fics but we all know that's not gonna happen. XD
> 
> \-----  
> None of these characters are mine and they along with Undertale belong to Toby Fox. I do not claim these characters as mine.


End file.
